Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas
Family is not an important thing. It’s everything. Michael J. Fox
As we are waiting for our grandson to be born I am questioning the ideas of equality and equity. Equality to me means when everyone has an equal opportunity as much as possible. Total equality can never be reached unless we reach it from the bottom and instead of equal opportunity, there is equally no opportunity.
We are born with talents, predispositions, and characteristics that help us make our way in the world. We have different statures, intelligence levels, drives, and determinations. Different talents, dispositions, and characteristics may shine at different times. Leaders achieve greatness under different circumstances, some only shine during a war, others only shine during peace.
Through education, our society tries to equip our citizens with the tools needed to create a good life. A good life for everyone is not the same life. Equity recognizes that each person has different circumstances and allocates the exact resources and opportunities needed to reach an equal outcome.
This is where I think we are going down a dark road. I watched a competition for the strongest man yesterday. These men were huge and strong. How do you create equity in a competition like that? Women are not going to be able to compete in a strong person competition, very few men can compete.
Jordan Peterson tells us that young women lawyers are leaving the profession because they want a life that includes marriage and motherhood (especially motherhood) and being a partner in a law firm makes having a family very difficult. These very capable, smart women realize they don’t like the life they are living and choose a different one. Often they marry very successful men so they have that choice.
The family is one of nature’s masterpieces. George Santayana
A focus on equity, not equality is coming to Ontario Schools if Bill 67 passes and this alarms me a lot. A focus on anti-racism is giving us more racism not less in my opinion. Just like the war on drugs did not give us what we wanted or might have expected. We get more of what we focus on, and even the best of intentions can have unexpected outcomes.
One of the outcomes of focusing on equality for women has meant fewer men are going to and staying in University. It doesn’t bode well for women when they are more highly educated and earning more money than the men they want to date and marry. Women entered the workforce and it was great for families for a short period of time. Are we better off with two people working than we were when one paycheck carried a family?
Even two wage earners have a hard time affording a home in Canada’s largest cities. Perhaps this tells us we should be moving to smaller centers and building them up. Families are the building block of every civilization; while big jobs, careers, and independence might be valued in the short term I think when the working years are over, the family will be what gives us joy, happiness, and contentment through our remaining years.
I can understand why people can’t see themselves in their later years when they are young. I couldn’t, I still don’t accept in my heart of hearts that as a woman of a certain age my best years are behind me. One of the greatest joys in my life is ahead of me as I become a grandmother for the first time. Over the next few years, I expect more grandchildren. I think about how empty my life would be if I was not married with children. My career/job would be ending and I would be alone.
My husband and I were talking last night as we watched a TV show about a couple looking to find themselves again, that we should go on some new adventures, see what there is to see and do what there is to do. Our son’s wedding will start a new chapter for us as well. Having a husband to share life with has been a great joy, and I think will become even more important as the years go by. Some day, he may have to go forward without me or me go forward without him because that is how life is, but In the meantime, we have each other, and life for two people is much more exciting than for one.
When that time comes, if we lived through all life threw at us and got through it together, made the best of the life we had, then that seems like it should lead to a life of few regrets even if we have to make our way through the rest of it alone. I think of my newly widowed aunt and mom as I write this.
Family sustains us in our times of loss, celebrates with us, and holds us up when times are hard. Being part of and building a family is one of the great joys and responsibilities of life.
Stick to the basics, hold on to your family and friends – they will never go out of fashion. Niki Taylor
Having somewhere to go is home. Having someone to love is family, and having both is a blessing. Unknown
The only rock I know that stays steady, the only institution I know that works, is the family. Lee Iacocca
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