Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas
Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty. Mother Teresa
Watching “Alone in Alaska” we might wonder how we would fare. I’m not even talking about finding food, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be good at that part, but what if our needs were met, so we wouldn’t starve, could we handle being alone? I’ve never spent much time alone and it would be a huge adjustment.
Many of us will spend time alone at some time in our lives. If we have things we can do that make the time pass it might not be too bad. But, if we are only watching a clock tick, and have nothing we can or would like to do, then the time will go by very slowly.
We are connected technologically more than at any age in history and still, the rates of loneliness are increasing. It makes sense we will have to deal with loneliness as we age especially if we end up being the surviving spouse. Even people in nursing homes report moderate loneliness and some report being severely lonely. This shows we can be lonely in a crowd or in a building filled with people just like us.
I’m looking at something I’ve found on the internet, “More than 2 million over 75s live alone in the UK, with over half regularly going for more than one month without conversing with a friend, neighbor, or family member,” this is taken from an article by the Good Care Group.
Wow, that is far worse than I thought it would be. We have to wonder what brings someone to the point where no one calls them, or they have no one to call, visit, or interact with.
I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone. Robin William
Some of it, as in Mom’s case is she’s outlived her siblings, Dad’s siblings, and friends. Making new friends when our peer group is gone would be difficult, maybe heartbreaking, and we might think we are getting close to someone to end up losing them.
We might think putting our loved ones in a home is best for them, we won’t worry about them as much, but what about what is best for them? Aging in place is what Mom wants and what we hope can continue for her.
There aren’t easy answers, we wish there were easy answers and we might make decisions that are easier for us, but not for our loved ones. We all want the best for our loved ones, and to feel we did as much as we could to make their life as good as possible.
There are hard choices that need to be made with aging parents, but as long as our parents can, the choice is up to them. We might not like the choices, we might worry about them being alone, and maybe we can do something so they aren’t alone too much of the time.
What I think we all want is to make the choices that affect our lives to the end, be in control of the decisions about our own lives, and have autonomy until we die.
No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path. Buddha
Loneliness is the poverty of self; solitude is the richness of self. May Sarton
The greatest thing in the world is to know how to belong to oneself. Michel de Montaigne
Thank you for reading this post. Please come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.
