Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas
When we learn that we cannot truly control others, circumstances, or things, we will begin to let go, We will begin to find freedom. Unknown
Once we are parents and grandparents we get joy, not just from the steps we take, but from the steps we see our children and grandchildren take. Yesterday, my daughter, her almost one-month-old son, and I went to see my son and his fiancé’s new place. When people are moving there is always something to help out with. It is lovely to see our children take their place in the world.
We may think they are too fast or too slow about moving out, getting married, having children, starting a business, quitting jobs, sometimes quitting relationships, but they need to live their lives, and we are only bystanders. It can be hard remembering that our children’s business isn’t our business. We only should offer the input they ask for. We have to respect their choices and their decisions. Many children don’t think their parents are making the right decisions and they have to respect those as well. We need to respect people’s choices big and small even if we don’t agree with them. Honor their choices of stocks, socks, mates, friends, and life decisions.
The more we let other people live their lives on their own terms the better it is for our relationships. This applies to our marriages as well which can be even harder because in marriage our partner’s choices affect us greatly. I laugh as I write this. One of my father’s sisters wanted him to dress better and so when she came over he always dressed worse. One day he asked Mom to help him sew a patch on a shirt that didn’t need a patch so he could wear it for his sister’s visit.
One day Mom took his sister to Dad’s closet filled with beautiful shirts he refused to wear when she was over because he was making a point. I’m not sure my aunt ever got the point but Mom did. I’m sure Mom would have preferred a well-dressed husband when her in-laws came over instead of the poor-poor farmer outfit he put on for his sister.
Power is not controlling other people. Power is controlling yourself. Trying to control other people is the first sign that you are entirely out of control. Controlling others is what weak people think power looks like. Kalen Dion
We have to accept people how they are and not how we wish they were. This hits home from time to time and I have to relinquish my controlling ways. It might be better if people did things my way but they need to do things their way, and if I leave them alone they may even see the wisdom in doing things another way if they have a choice. When they don’t feel they have a choice often they dig in their heels refusing to change even if it is for their own good. Keeping my mouth zipped is difficult and when I don’t succeed in keeping it zipped often things get worse instead of better.
There is enough to manage if I can manage my own business well. Is it easier to try and manage what others do than what we should do?
You can never control or change how others think, feel, or act. You can only change how you think, feel, and act, and lead by example. Celestine Chau
A powerful personality is not about being in control or controlling others, it is about staying rooted in your own core values, integrity and authenticity. Unknown
Being happy doesn’t mean everything is perfect. It means you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections. Unknown
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