Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas
The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself. Mark Twain
Last night I attended a Toastmaster club and read my When Can We Get A Puppy story as practice for when I read it at the Art Gallery of Mississauga. The other speaker was practicing her contest speech.
During our impromptu session, she was asked about getting out of her comfort zone. She said she lives outside her comfort zone, and is learning to be comfortable being outside of it.
We watch people every day doing things that are outside their comfort zone but they do them anyway and often get very good at them. Public speaking is one of the things many people are uncomfortable with, but it adds a dimension to our life if we master the skill. One of the attendees was getting out of his comfort zone by learning to salsa dance and may take lessons again.
We want to be sure when we leave our comfort zone we are entering a growth zone and we don’t become so comfortable with a high drama life that everything else pales in comparison.
Gambling gives some people a high and they don’t know when to stop. We can become addicted to drama in our lives. We can get addicted to the adrenaline rush we get. I found a book by Doreen Virtue, Don’t let Anything Dull Your Sparkle, How to break free of negativity & drama.
I watched a movie about a soldier whose job was to disarm bombs. He was on leave and he found it boring. He was addicted to the adrenaline rush from his high-stakes and dangerous job.
I think this can happen to performers who love the adrenaline rush and try to create that rush through artificial means. There are many ways we bring drama into our lives we would be better off without. Gossip is bringing drama into our lives. We may bring drama into our lives by worrying about events we can’t control and thinking the future will be a catastrophe.
I define success as being comfortable with yourself and your life. And that is about as good as it gets, really. Treat Williams
Finding balance in our lives is not always easy but it is important to a good life. We need to eat well, exercise, think good thoughts, meditation and prayer are helpful, and so is journaling. If we only feel alive when something exciting is happening, we may need to take a look at what is going on in our life. If we are fearful about what might happen we need to take a good look at how we would handle life if the worst happened. Really think about it and realize we will get through whatever we have to, because what else is there to do?
It might be hard when we take a deep breath before going on stage to give a speech. If we do it often enough we get energy from facing that fear. Other fears may not give us energy but they have to be faced. We will someday face loss and have to go forward. It may take everything we have to move forward after the death of a loved one. If we are the ones left behind what other choice do we have? We may face a future we didn’t want but we have the opportunity to make the best or the worst of it. We often can’t change it.
How many of us watch shows, read books, or hear things that we think if someone in our life changed their ways, life would be so much better. The truth is the only someone we have control over is ourselves and the change we want has to come from us. If we want someone in our lives to change perhaps we have to change our attitude toward them, focus on ourselves and the change we want to see in our lives and leave them to sort out their own life.
If we find ways to bring balance, joy, gratitude, and love into our lives this will spill over into our interactions with others. We may find someone’s attitude changed when we change our attitude toward them.
Stepping out of our comfort zone can pay big dividends, but we also have to be comfortable with ourselves and not let the rush we get from drama or other things blind us to being comfortable with ourselves and spending time alone. If we always need to be entertained by something, have something exciting going on, maybe we need to add a new dimension to our lives. A dimension of introspection, meditation, prayer, journaling, or creativity that will make us okay with who we are when we aren’t distracted by something else.
No amount of self-improvement can make up for any lack of self-acceptance. Robert Holden
You’re always with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company. Diane von Furtsenberg
Once you’re comfortable by yourself you learn to be more at ease with others. Stana Katic
Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.
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