Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas
Start by doing what’s necessary; then do what’s possible; and then suddenly you are doing the impossible. Francis of Assisi
What is possible might be a question we should ask ourselves. When we enroll in something, begin something, or encourage someone isn’t that what we are doing, looking for what is possible? We may be able to light a spark of possibility for someone and they light one for us. We must not be too pushy or too sure that if we try to light a spark in someone it must become what we want. That then becomes control.
This is why joining groups is so good for people. We are energized by others and their ideas and when we see others doing things, we think we can do things too. Sometimes we have things we want, but maybe what we should ask is what can we have? Especially as we age we may have to ask these questions.
If we can’t have independence can we at least have dignity? If we can’t be rich can we be happy and have enough? Can our relationships be pleasant instead of filled with contention? Henry Fonda was a liberal Democrat and James Stewart a conservative Republican and after a major blow-up over politics agreed never to discuss the subject again, and they were friends for fifty years.
It is possible not to agree on things that are so important to you and still remain friends? Sometimes we have to agree to disagree. There are issues out there that can become so contentious I think it is the only way to handle them. If we have no control over the issues, except to argue over them does it make sense to give such weight to things we can’t change, or does it make more sense to do what Henry Fonda and James Stewart did, agree to disagree and enjoy the relationship without the turmoil? Arguing over things we can’t change, and have no control over does not do any good for anyone, but it can destroy relationships.
In these cases what is possible is to center the relationship on everything else. Who you vote for is after all your own business, as is what you think about contentious subjects. Instead of arguing we can decide to have fun and enjoy everything else and discuss that particular subject with other people. This is why politics and religion are not subjects to be brought up at the dinner table because they often do nothing but divide and cause contention and hard feelings.
Let us not despair but act. Let us not seek the Republican answer or Democratic answer but the right answer. Let us not seek to fix the blame for the past – let us accept our own responsibility for the future. John F. Kennedy
We don’t live in a world where we accept and respect other’s opinions, it seems to me. Expressing some opinions that seem perfectly fine to me, even if they are not expressed as perfectly and as carefully as I think they should be, doesn’t really bother me but they cause consternation in other people I love.
It might be great if we are on the same page about major issues with people we love. It may have seemed we were years ago, or we thought we were because we weren’t discussing them the way they are discussed today, and every negative was not magnified years ago. We were all getting along, or so it seemed.
What changed? The big thing that has changed is the population doubled in our lifetime, and real problems have presented themselves we don’t know how to fix. We don’t all agree on what the problems are, and we certainly don’t agree on how to fix them. People have always jostled for their place and position in the world. With more people there is more jostling, more blame being laid, and more fingers being pointed.
We have to be careful we don’t worry about what we can’t control and not deal with what we can. We have our sphere of influence but sometimes we talk about big issues we have no influence and control over, instead of the small ones we do. When I grew up we lived a pretty “Green life.” Instead of pointing fingers, we should all green our own lives, by reusing and recycling. Many of us can plant a tree somewhere. We can lessen our own footprint upon the world instead of shouting at others to do it. We can make a difference in our small sphere of influence and our influence may grow, but even if it doesn’t, doing our best to build harmonious relationships, happy, healthy families, live a non-wasteful life, do our best to green our part of the world, and treat the people we interact with respectfully and in a dignified manner is worth doing.
Even when people are thinking of the next generation they don’t necessarily think the best way forward is the same. If we do in our life what we think is possible and positive, we may have more of an impact than we can imagine. Is it possible to live our best life where we are, with the people we love? We can all ask ourselves what that life looks like and work toward it.
The difference between a politician and a statesman is that a politician worries about next elections, while the statesman thinks about the next generation. Winston Churchill
The smallest minority on earth is the individual. Those who deny individual rights cannot claim to be defenders of minorities. Ayn Rand
Truth, it’s the new hate speech. During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act. George Orwell
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